dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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