Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I cut my penus on the lid.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
