He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
this just has baby written all over it
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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