just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Randomize
