I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
