Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
