im drinking this country out of the recession.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We need to rekindle our bromance
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
