I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
