it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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