"it" just moved
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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