He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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