my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
