Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
