she was so not down for the gang bang
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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