If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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