It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
