Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
So vagazzling was a success
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
