Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
