ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
