Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
