he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
