When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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