He asked to "fluff my boner.."
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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