He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
