The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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