Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
