He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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