I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
