so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
