if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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