coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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