In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
