Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
