I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
