woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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