I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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