you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
