nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
