you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
