and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
