Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
