would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
operation have a gay friend backfired
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
