Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
