i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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