So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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