The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
