She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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