I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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