I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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