My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
